Monday, December 04, 2006

Gregory Hallen's Monologue

I wouldn't be surprised if we heard more out of ol' Greg. He is from the same world/universe/reality as Joshua.

My name is Gregory Hallen and I’m a psychic. Not like one of those fakes you see on TV. No, I can actually find my car in a parking lot, thank you very much. No, all I can do is see a bit into the future. Usually just far enough to realize how much my life is going to suck in about 5 minutes if I don’t make exactly the right decisions at exactly the right times. Case in point: I’m currently being chased by the ghosts of gay man-whores. Their brothel was burned down in a rash of homosexual hate crimes. Not fun shit. Now the specters take revenge on any straight man they can find. Now, I happen to fall into that category. Never in my life have I wished more that I like the cock. But, unfortunately in this case, I don’t.
I'd love to get into the nuance of my condition, but there's no time for that at the moment. Later, I promise. So I'm running from these ghosts, eyes open, trying to scan the threads of fate for a way out of this mess. As the quanta dance across my metaphysical field of vision, I realize something important: sometimes infinite possibilites doesn't mean that there's always a way out that's good for you. Sometimes it just means you're totally, infinitely fucked. And so it seems in this case. Maybe the solution is there, but so far away I can't see it. Either way, what I can see is pretty grim, so I decide to narrow my focus to just ahead of the now and wing it.
* * *
I manage to get away from the ghosts. Honestly, I'd rather never talk about how I did it. Let's just say I'll never be able to look at a 2x4 the same ever again.
Where was I? Oh, right, more on the psychic condition.
Okay, here's the deal. Guys like me come in two types. "Forecasters" and "interpreters." I'm of the former type. Forecasters see the future with varying degrees of finessé, depth, and accuracy. Interpreters see things as they "really are," as they put it. It's a fancy way of saying they get the metaphysical world layed right smack on top of this one when they open those creepy third eyes. I've never seen one myself, you need to be an interpreter yourself to do so, but still, the idea is pretty fucked if you ask me.
Personally, and this may be my own bias talking, I think forecasters are considerably more useful. Sure the 'terp can tell you that the man you just passed by is an angel, but what people forget is that angels and demons don't look any different, they just act different. Nine times out of ten, you were better off not knowing the paranormal nature of that man anyway. I'm just sayin'.

3 comments:

Renee L. said...

More! Gimme more! Pleeeeeease?
Also, Gregory Hallen = good name

Mean Old Mammy/ Renee's said...

So I'm running from these ghosts, eyes open, trying to scan the threads of fate for a way out of this mess. As the quanta dance across my metaphysical field of vision, I realize something important: sometimes infinite possibilites doesn't mean that there's always a way out that's good for you. Sometimes it just means you're totally, infinitely fucked. And so it seems in this case. Maybe the solution is there, but so far away I can't see it. Either way, what I can see is pretty grim, so I decide to narrow my focus to just ahead of the now and wing it.
* * *
May I quote this? WOW! from one so young!
I will credit you as author of course

Drewcifer said...

Actually, I'd really prefer if you didn't. I guess it would depend on what you were using it for. You could, I guess send me an email if you wanted to discuss it further. I don't just want to hand out my email adress, so you're gonna have to do this real circituitously. My AIM name is Drewcifer3939.